Sean: You don’t want to get into a knife fight with a Russian.Alex: I am Russian.
Sean: You don’t want to get into a knife fight with a Russian.Alex: I am Russian.
"You are not responsible for her anymore, okay?"
"Or, I’m responsible for her for the rest of my life."
Nalex in Season 3 episode 2 - Innocence
sasha-sexual said: Camteen/Cadley (:
- big spoon/little spoon:
Thirteen is the big spoon, no contest here. It’s not that Cameron wouldn’t like to exchange places from time to time — and sometimes, on bad days, she does, but it would be inappropriate to call her the big spoon then because she still looks so fragile and small in comparison to Thirteen — it’s that Remy relishes in her protectiveness. She finds that every opportunity to assert her dominance over Cameron goes along well with her need to have control over things. Not the OCD kind; she’s transformed this longing into a weapon. She controls nothing bad ever happens to Cameron, even if it might be a bedroom ghost haunting. And Cameron can’t say she minds, really.
- favorite non-sexual activity:
(This goes along with a smutfic I wrote a year ago and there are no regrets.)Cameron loves to play the piano. Thirteen can’t, but she often finds herself entranced by her girlfriend’s music. Allison’s tried teaching her on several occasions, but all her attempts resulted only in Thirteen smashing the keys angrily after the first few attempts and Allison giggling at that (until silenced by other means).
- who uses all the hot water:
Both use a lot for different reasons. Cameron is one of those people who is always a little afraid of the cold that will follow when she leaves the shower, so she stays in there for too long. Thirteen likes to think. Being under the stream somehow helps her arrange her thoughts in order while still keeping her calm, and warm.
- most trivial thing they fight over:
Pee on the toilet seat. It seems no matter how many times Allison tells Remy that it is not possible for her to pee like a man, inevitably, one day (preferably after a can of beer or two) Thirteen will try that shit again. And fail.
- who does most of the cleaning:
Allison, absolutely. Thirteen is messy, leaving her socks all over the place all the time and all that. But Allison has a way of guilt-tripping her into helping out from time to time. (And when she doesn’t, Thirteen finds other ways to express her gratitude.)
- what has a season pass on their dvr/who controls the netflix queue:
Cameron. Thirteen is a shameless internet pirate. She doesn’t care.
- who calls up the super/landlord when the heat’s not working:
Neither. When the heat’s not working, they usually make their own until it’s back on. *cough*
- who steals the blankets:
Cameron is a notorious blanket-hogger. And if there’s no blanket in reach, she will steal the nearest limb possible. Or the whole torso. Remy doesn’t like to nag Cameron into cuddling (even though that would be no difficult feat, really), so she sometimes kicks the blankets off in the middle of the night just for this to happen. And smirks.
- who leaves their stuff around:
Have I mentioned Thirteen and socks? Pills? Dirty plates? Used vibrators? But according to Remy, it’s not “leaving her stuff around”. It’s just a “system of storing stuff you do not yet understand”. Allison is no saint in this matter though, either. Somehow her phone always winds up in the weirdest of places — behind the sink, under the bed, anywhere that’s hard to reach. It only finds its way back out when it starts to ring. At six. In. The. Morning.
- who remembers to buy the milk:
Allison. Just Allison.
- who remembers anniversaries:
They both do, but Remy is the one who plans every anniversary out beforehand. She usually creates grandiose more or less private gestures of affection. Allison knows this means so much to Remy because it reminds her of the little time she has left, but she never says anything. Instead she tries her best to forget, no matter how much Thirteen is trying to etch the event into her memory, and fall asleep amongst rose petals.
- who cooks normally?:
Allison, when she has the time. Thirteen is no gastrologist; she’d go for KFC every day if it meant having more time to watch CSI. This doesn’t mean she can’t cook, though. Thirteen has some serious aces up her sleeve, but she only pulls them out rarely, such as on their anniversaries. Allison knows how to cook fast, good and healthy, so that’s the way things usually are.
- how often do they fight?:
Moderately often. Thirteen doesn’t have too short of a temper in ways Cameron could or would trigger, but Allison is sensitive, and every now and then it just so happens that Thirteen tugs at a heartstring by accident, or scares the living hell out of her in a way that Cameron does not think amusing, or forgets an appointment that’s important to Cameron. She never means it, Allison knows she doesn’t, but Thirteen has learned that Cameron’s natural reaction to certain things — not all, but some — is an uncontrollable burst of angry tears. Sometimes she even says some very harmful things to Remy in the process, resulting in them both screaming like metalists at an Amon Amarth concert. Sometimes Cameron goes too far, she knows. But a few minutes later it all starts to make sense and soon she’s spewing out apologies like there’s no tomorrow. Cuddles tend to be involved in the process.
- what do they do when they’re away from each other?:
Sext. Oh yes. What Cameron lacks in bedding assertiveness she makes up for in her very… creative use of language, so to speak.
- nicknames for each other?:
Allison is Alliecat whenever Thirteen wants to mock her. Thirteen is Miss Leatherpants. The origins of this nickname involve stables, kink and Marvel superheroes.
- who is more likely to pay for dinner?:
Thirteen. Always. Allison cooks at home, so Thirteen has taken it to be her duty to “cook” when they go out.
- who steals the covers at night?:
- what would they get each other for gifts?:
Remy buys Cameron plushies, flowers, you know, general Valentine girly stuff. Cameron always rolls her eyes and raises an eyebrow at Thirteen’s supposed lack of creativity (and practicality), but Remy knows she likes to be pampered like that. Plus, Cameron is a bookworm, so shall the princess so desire, a novel always comes in handy. On the other hand, Allison gives Remy memories, the thing she knows Remy values most of all. Literally; one time she hand-made a custom notebook filled with pictures of the two of them and their friends. Remy says it’s cheesy. She browses through it in the middle of the night.
Also, Xbox games. You can never go wrong with Thirteen and Xbox games.
- who kissed who first?:
Remy kissed Allison first, because of House, in his office, in front of Taub, no less. (Chase was fortunately not present at the time.) They’d bet she’d get away with it without a slap. Remy lost the bet, miserably so, and Cameron didn’t speak to her for weeks afterwards, despite the countless times Remy tried apologizing to her. They’d barely known each other then. Eventually, Thirteen got so mad because of Cameron’s little big grudge she went out, kicked some stones, got herself hammered while grumbling on about the unfairness of womankind and why it made such a big deal out of every petty thing. Allison had yet to teach her how much that kiss had meant.
- who made the first move?:
Considering that ^ was the first move… Let’s skip ahead a bit. After a few weeks of avoiding each other like the plague, Thirteen stumbled upon Cameron in the lab by herself. (Coincidentally sent by House, of course.) As it turned out, the lab was Cameron’s island of solitude of sorts, and she did not appreciate having uninvited visitors. Long story short, one “screw you and your bets” and “ruining your own life is your own damn business but do me a favor and leave me out of it” and a desperate “why did you have to do that”, Thirteen was still staring at Cameron like she was an alien from outer space, so there was only one thing left to do. And Thirteen would never slap a face as beautiful as Cameron’s.
- who remembers things?:
Both, but Remy puts more importance on remembering significant things in her life. Since she met Cameron, she doesn’t want to forget; she fears the emptiness of a life where their moments together cease to exist more than anything.
- who started the relationship?:
They hadn’t actually gone on a (formally spoken) “date” - out of fear or uncertainty, perhaps both - for a while longer after the lab incident. But it was Remy who suggested they go get coffee downstairs with the promise that there were no bets involved this time.
- who cusses more?:
Thirteen is a complete sailor once she’s out of her lab coat. In bed, however, it’s Allison who loses the goody-two-shoes look, and Thirteen takes pride in knowing exactly how to achieve that.
- what would they do if the other one was hurt?:
Allison always tries her best to fix the situation. She’s been wired that way. She quickly thinks of a solution and she presents it. Be it for physical or emotional ailments, somehow Allison always knows what to do, and while she can’t always fix what’s broken, she’s a natural restaurateur. Perhaps what Thirteen needs isn’t really that complicated, she just won’t let anyone else do it.
When Allison is hurt, however, Remy is out to kill anyone and anything she deems responsible, even if it’s House himself. Not that that happens too often. Sometimes it takes Cameron’s voice to stop her and realize what’s truly important, and then she does all in her power to help. Unlike Cameron, she’s not good with words of encouragement, though. She’s not good with any words, really. So she lets her actions speak for her, and never forgets to kiss Allison’s temple in such a situation.
"She might have fooled me, but she didn’t fool my mother."